By Susan Liddy

We all experience life challenges from time to time. Those moments that trigger hurt feelings, confusion, self-doubt and fear. Perhaps a relationship is in conflict, our job is in jeopardy, or our finances aren't where we want them to be.

During such moments, we may land ourselves in disempowerment. With the pressure on and our lives in upheaval, suddenly we find ourselves reverting to our old, negative/limiting belief system. We go into denial or escape mode, engaging self-sabotaging attitudes and behaviors that do not serve us.

The Gift of Forgivness...

For most people, it's all too easy to unleash that critical voice of disapproval after we've responded to a situation or circumstance in an undesirable way. But what we really want be doing is offering ourselves the gift of forgiveness.

It begins with forgiving yourself: Remember that everyone is human and part of this existence is to experience life challenges, AND to sometimes respond to them in ways we're not proud of. The next step has to do with addressing the problem: taking time to get in touch with your feelings and emotional needs, and learning to communicate them in empowering ways.

For myself, I've come to learn that the very moments which bring me pain or bring me into disempowerment are also the most powerful opportunities for growth. I try to remember that the greatest challenges have the most to teach about who I am, what I need and what I am capable of. Sometimes it's difficult to see this as it's happening... but when you look back, you can usually recognize a change in yourself. A good change. From this perspective life challenges can truly are great lessons.

Have you learned how to forgive yourself?

When we're young, we're taught to forgive other people... that we are all human and fallible - and the only way that we can really grow is by making mistakes that help us find our way. But how many of us really forgive ourselves - accept ourselves just as we are, mistakes and shortcomings and all?

Forgiveness is a critical step in the act of breaking a Cycle of Disempowerment™.

Forgiveness has to do with letting go of resentment, releasing blame, and giving our selves permission to put the past where it belongs - in the past - instead, looking ahead to the future with hope and optimism. To forgive, whether it's forgiving yourself or another person, is to stop fixating on perceived wrongs, which are actually the cause of our disempowering behaviors in the first place!

When we forgive, we allow the doors of our hearts and minds to open once again and make room for love, learning, laughter, peace, and possibility in our lives.

Are you ready to stop beating yourself up for those shaky transitions... and start seeing the possibilities that arrive with every challenge that comes your way?

Reality Check

1. Log your recent feelings and self talk.
2. Log your recent behaviors.
3. Do you notice any disempowerment going on?
4. If so, you may have a Cycle of Disempowerment™ Churning.
5. This is okay! Really! It just means you've been triggered.

Fearless Integration

Here’s what to do if you’ve been triggered and are in a Cycle of Disempowerment™:

1. Take some time to reflect upon anything that’s happened recently. What do you think the trigger(s) were?
2. Process the feelings that were triggered.
3. Create Understanding for why you were triggered.
4. Forgive whatever disempowerment you created.
5. Then, ask yourself…
   1. What do I need?
   2. What does this trigger tell me about myself? What is important to me?
   3. How can I meet my needs and shift into empowerment instead?

It may take some practice... but once we learn to forgive ourselves, step outside of our own perspective and begin viewing the world in a fresh and unbiased light... we will hold th ekey to our own happiness.

More Support

Join our Passages to Empowerment Bootcamp for women, with Susan Liddy. Overcome your fears, get unstuck and achieve your goals. Share your dreams and fears, ask your questions, participate in group conference calls, and network with other like-minded women on a journey to self connection and personal empowerment.

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About the Author

Susan Liddy is on a mission to empower women globally through self awareness, understanding and choice. Work with Susan to overcome your emotional fears, increase your self confence and accomplish your goals.

For more information about Susan Liddy, MA, PCC, CPCC,  and Aspire Life Coaching™ visit www.AspireLifeCoaching.org or call (408) 835-9908.

©2009 Susan Liddy, AspireLifeCoaching.org, All rights reserved.