By Susan Liddy

"The tragedy is so many people look for self-confidence and self-respect everywhere except within themselves, and so they fail in their search." Nathanial Brandan

For much of my life I believed I was a misfit. And, my evidence came from comparing myself to the incredible people I knew. My mother was (is) beautiful, can paint, sew and easily make friends. My three sisters also had many friends, could draw, had beautiful handwriting, wonderful wit and humor, and could dress themselves to the nines. Yet, not me. As hard as I tried to be like them, I could never seem to select the "right" colors, get my hand to flow in beautiful, swirling cursive writing, tell a joke as profoundly, and my clothes didn't fit just right. I was convinced that I was weird, stupid, broken, and hopeless. I struggled. I got angry. And, for a time, I gave up on me.

Now, I realize how brutally I beat myself up because I didn't think I was like my mother or sisters. My internal dialogue was plagued with negative self talk, I avoided people and opportunities for fear that I would be exposed as a misfit, and I had so many expectations of who I should be and what I should look like that I buried who I really was. Effectively, I boxed myself in with a negative belief system that I wasn't "good enough".

Dismantling our negative belief system is critical to breaking free from our boxes. If we can not accept ourselves, we really can not accept that our dreams are worthwhile and possible, and we will not have the stamina to bring them to life. We must be willing to embrace the truth of who WE are, by looking inward without expectation or comparison to others, to really live the life we dream of.

And, guess what I found out once I became willing to see to truth of who I really am? I discovered that I am not weird, broken, stupid or hopeless. With the willingness to see my true self came the freedom to live, love and laugh with full abandon.

Freedom is good. Life is good. You are good.

Reality Check

You aspire truthfully when:

• You acknowledge yourself for your accomplishments.
• You eliminate expectations of yourself from your life.
• You base your value and self worth upon who you are, what you believe and how you love.
• You are happy being you, warts and all.

Fearless Integration

1. What does your negative self talk say about you, to you?
2. What expectations do you have about who/what you should be/do?
3. What results are your expectations and negative self talk yielding?
4. What have you accomplished that you don't acknowledge yourself for?
5. Instead of setting expectations, how can you embrace who you are, today?
6. What results could embracing who you are and replacing negative self talk with acknowledgments yield in your life?

Aspire Truthfully!

About the Author:

Susan Liddy, MA is a Life Coach and founder of Aspire Life Coaching™. Susan facilitates personal growth in women who have poor self esteem, negative body image and unhealthy relationships. Common to most of Susan’s clients is having the general feeling that “something is missing in their lives” with fear being the root cause. Susan’s programs and seminars teach women how to manage fear and create a healthy lifestyle through self care, fulfillment and healthy relationships.

©2007 Susan Liddy, AspireLifeCoaching.org, All rights reserved.

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