by Susan Liddy

Pop question: What did you do the last time someone complimented your appearance or figure?

(Did you do what most of us do, blush and talk about some other part of your body that you hate?)

When was the last time you came out of a department store dressing room really feeling good about what you saw in the mirror?

If you are like most of us, a lot of your negative self talk is focused on your body, right? How fat or skinny you are... how flat or endowed you are. And let's not even think about our daily wrinkle and grey hair inventory!

No matter our size or shape - long and lean, compact and curvy, top-heavy, pear-shaped... we all seem to have a negative perception of our bodies. Without going too much into why, let's briefly look at the culture we were brought up in. Television ads, magazines, radio, movies. Every day, we are bombarded with messages of what we SHOULD look like.

• Do you know that the majority of clothing line designers use sizing to manipulate us? That size four jean you purchased last year is likely considered size zero this year.
• Did you ever stop to think... that gorgeous model on the cover of Cosmo had her cleavage enhanced and her skin tone evened out by a neat trick they call air brushing?

Reality Check

Remember that no body is perfect - not even the world's supermodels. We all have those parts of us that we love, and other areas we wish we could change. Realize that you don't need to subscribe to all the disempowering messages our consumer-based society screams at you!

Walking through life with a negative body image perception creates a cycle of unfulfillment. This spills into all areas of your life:

• Your intimate relationships
• Your social life
• Adventures and vacations you want to take
• Invitations that you decline

What if instead of focusing on what you looked like, you could address those unmet needs that keep that negative self talk reel playing over and over in your mind? You know, those needs that you attempt to fulfill with a plethora of disempowering behaviors like:

Over-eating
Under-eating
People-pleasing
Complaining
Making excuses
Overspending
Wearing clothes that are too big or too small
Scouring magazines for the latest styles
Drinking too much

Next time you catch yourself, ask why. Why am I behaving impulsively/self-destructively and what would really help me to lift my self-esteem?

Maybe instead of stocking up on larger sizes, then "drowning" our sorrows, or "eating" them away... we can realize that what we really want is to treat our bodies better, and to feel better. And maybe that begins with something as simple as taking a brisk walk every morning.

It's just a small step - but it's the difference between masking or escaping from our poor body image perception, and instead learning to appreciate, respect and nurture the body that you were given.

Fearless Integration

Now, I'm not suggesting that you resort to wearing burlap sacks and ditch your cosmetic drawer. Being a girly girl myself, I love indulging in fun clothes and different hair styles. Being able to play up your features is a fun part of being a female! Yet, we don't have to indulge in these things to the point that we're trying to be someone else.

Really loving your body means working to bring out your inner beauty, your essence and wearing clothing that shows who you truly are.

Tips to overcome a negative body image:

1. Define your own version of beauty.
2. Engage in self care so you feel vibrant and alive.
3. Replace negative self talk with the truth of how well your body serves you.
4. Identify your unmet emotional needs and create empowering ways to meet them.
5. Realize that other people don't focus on your flaws the way that you do - because to them, the outer package holds a truly wonderful and beautiful gift - YOU.

Today, make the choice to bring fulfillment into your life no matter what you look like. By taking action to feel whole and complete today, you'll create the energy and motivation that allows your outside to reflect your inside.

©2007 Susan Liddy, AspireLifeCoaching.org, All rights reserved.

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Do You have a Poor Body Image?

You're not alone! Fifty-six percent of women and forty-three percent of men have a negative BIP or Body Image Perception. Aspire Life Coaching has recently launched our Empowering Body Image eCourse - a comprehensive course that works to dispel negative beliefs we have about the size, shape and weight of our body, and other physical characteristics such as wrinkles, hair, chest size, muscle tone, etc. When you truly love your body, you are more likely to engage in choices that support your emotional and physical well-being while celebrating the natural beauty and true essence of you!

Learn more about the Empowering Body Image eCourse from Aspire Life Coaching today!